Swirls in the Glass Marble

Twisted tendrils of myriad hues bound and fated to dance about each other in clear and serene stillness: Yellow, Red, Green, Violet, Blue and many other of their brothers and sisters acting as heralds to those funny and wondrous thoughts that I find colourful.

Monday, November 28, 2005

A fairy tale from the coffee shop.


It had so happened whilest my sister and I were partaking of a steaming cup of java and talking about certain nihilistic aspects of our existence that a man with a tangled beard wandered our direction when we had just finished saying how strange life is. We had not asked him to join us but little were we inclined to turn this poor fellow away.

"You wanna talk about strange?" were his first words as he took his place between my sister and I at the coffeehouse table. And so he began his horrific tale, a story which simply spellbound we country siblings and robbed us of all utterence between each other. Apparently, this man had been a fairly wealthy and very kind contractor from the midland who did jobs all over. We best took his words that he was kind due to his aversion to strong and distasteful language. He had met a man who's name I dare not repeat for fear of being at the mercy of this devil among men. He had asked our guest to do a job for him upon his property down south and across the country line which in turn our guest had accepted. But upon finishing his job, he had been run down by his employer's workers twice at sixty miles an hour, crushed under the vehicle and sustaining many mortal injuries. From that point on, it seemed he had not gotten his confidence back to return to his work. There was no doubt in my mind that he was quite qualified still, his explanations of his work something which sounded quite masterful.

So it is in this sense that I wonder what truly makes people live on the streets? A man who had once been successful and still had much of the expertise of his profession still wandered the streets of the city. Was it because he forgot how to do his work? Was it because he was unhirable? I'm compelled to say that this can't be the case. His confidence was shot, his will to succeed in shambles from what cruelty he had been forced to endure. This made me wonder, if a man with such promising professional aspects can end up like that, how will a person without them find a way to live without confidence in himself?

I don't believe he can...

Friday, November 25, 2005

Fear and nostalgia...

In the last couple of days, I've seen many frightening images in my dreams... I see myself fragmented, I feel as if I haven't settled and that I'm still leaving myself to be at the mercy of the stream of fate. In a summarized way of saying this, I feel doubt and I'm afraid of it. The future, the past and the present, I use such heavy scales when measuring these things but I find I never really look at the results and compensate for them. To tell the truth, I think I fear the results of these matters. I want to cloak myself in this uncertainty to save myself from this insight, this knowledge. It is a coward's path... I feel as if a rat leaving a sinking ship over, and over, and over again. It just makes me wonder how many more ships I have left before I drown.

In these words that I have scribed, I want to convey my respect to those who take hold of adventure and live their lives. I plead that you do not fabricate risks and take the gifts you have for granted, to promote yourself as you see fit and accept that challenges can to conquered and overcome for the better. To speak of these things is easy... Remember that.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Yellow, red and blue... It's not candy.


What's that old saying? If it's not broken, don't fix it? That actually sounds like procrastination to me. There's always room for improvement is a much better phrase in my opinion. So instead of posting nothing, I decided to post that. Exciting? No, but deal with it.
P.S. - Need more Dr. Mario on the net!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Give me liberty! Or at least give me something to do...


Aw... You came back!^^ I know you were going to come back eventually, so I made this just for you. (Please don't run away...)
Trux the politician? I believe that was one comment in my last blog which I took a particular interest in, although only a couple words long. But even then, it was a profound idea that shook the very pillars of the kingdom of my imagination, which so resides in the itsy-bitsy universe inside my head. Pretty dramatic, eh? Anyway, back on track. Taking within my hands the weighty decisions that would effect the lives of literally millions of people is something to be proud of, though in my most recent case, it is something that also unnerves me. Perhaps it should be explained in an outline. So I'll give you this instead...
Point 1: Incompetence - I know, I know... Of all people, should I even be jeering toward this particular subject? Not that I'm saying that incompetant people govern the lives of thousands or maybe millions of people (cries in a little corner), but I have witnessed the labors of those who perform within those positions with a little bit of old fashioned skepticism. It truly makes me wonder how there is even room for that kind of behavior and execution, though I suppose it gives a little hope to everybody that anybody is capable of doing anything. But just saying, it's unnerving when your sitting in the car with some newly introduced associates when they're singing, "Go green light! Go green light! Stupid Honda! I love doughnuts!" and take them seriously. I'm serious... That was how the song went. You won't be seeing me do that... again.
Point 2: Indifference - You just don't care, do you? For those people who aren't being seeped in their own 'point 2,' I would like to say that this is a diffinite problem for a lot of people. To imagine that they're are people who care to a certain extent, usually for those indifferent people caring more about their ambitions than others, it is a scary thing to imagine such characters in office, governing the weighty decisions of our lives in a group sense. Unfortunately, I think people mix the terms indifference with impartiality too much. Indifference, I don't care. Impartiality, I understand what your saying but these are my interests and I'm sticking to them. A little vague and glorified is the second, but it is a risk I'm willing to take to stress that it is nice to have impartial people in the world. Thanks to those humble ones too.
Point 3: Ostentatious Presentation - Guile is a neat thing... It's attractive, it's smooth, but it's also misleading. Hedging around certain issues is something that the uppers, so I try and respectfully call them, have to be masters at. A little crisis, the things were worried about the most? Nah, dont' worry. They're cool about it. Makes you wonder after a while how cool a person can be while being honest... Perhaps stretching it all out a little to make what little you give fit? Even plastic wrap breaks after you stretch it far enough. Try and use a little tact instead of stretching it all out. A little tact goes a long way.
Point 473: I made signs... The exciting thing I did as a political supporter is I made signs. Maybe around 600 signs. (sighs) Nobody likes spam... It's hard to swallow, it's unattractive, you can always find something better and nobody really likes it but those people who make it. (Sorry, but it's really gross.) So why in the world would people push their logic to the brink to find an excuse to accept it? Many people have their reason, I can understand that. But for those other people, go out and find the juicier parts of life. Find those issues, study the problems and become a scholar unto yourself so that you can make a proper decision when you need to... Or just sit around and play World of Warcraft all day. To tell the truth, I'm impartial to it.^^

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Fix Your Posture and Learn New Stuff



The oddest thing happened to me when I awoke today. I tried to turn over and get up, then all of a sudden I noticed I couldn't move my neck! When I tried, it felt as if I was mashing glass into the spinal cord. Is this a good thing? -_-;; I don' t really think so, but I'll tell you one thing, my posture has never been better. The usually things happened today: Me trying to survive my nephew and his train obsession, the balance of evil ebbing and flowing between my other more conscience family members, and me noticing I missed most of the day. What's that about? Somehow, I've been signed up to be a volunteer to help a local politcal event. How? I seem to know more people than I really can remember. Actually, I'm kinda psyched for it! Even if I'm just passing out fliers, I'll still have a chance to meet some of the headliners around this place.
My drawing skills have smeared into something I can't really recognize, my writing as dry as a bucket of sand... My music, on the other hand, seems to be progressing a lot better than I realized. It only came to me today that I spend about three hours on the keyboard a day (Musical Keyboard, duh...). So with that, I'm going to see about signing up for some music oriented classes, as well as something in human relations if I can help it. Whether I admit it or not, I really like dealing with people, so why not making a living out of it? If anything, it would give me a good reason to dress up a little nicer everyday.^^
Heh, smooth black jacket, lime green dress shirt and a cap? Oh yeah... That would be totally awesome. I wanna get my haircut too, maybe a shag do for a change with some highlights. Anything goes, now that I have stuff I actually want to do. I was even considering getting an earring... People, feedback in comments about that please. Thank you. Anyway, back to whatever you were doing! What do you think I'm paying you for? (Nothing) Hey! Shut up, guy! (Who are you telling to shut up?!) *battle ensues, no survivors. -End-

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The World's Music - Absolution


Heh, I'm sorry for not posting for the last couple of days.^^ I can't say that it's been difficult to get the change, but I apparently didn't decide to take those moments. Anyway, onto the topic: Listening to the World's Music.

For the last couple of days, I've been wandering all about Vancouver. I can't say there's much other reason behind it except that I wanted to see a lot more of where I live. To tell the truth, I don't think I've ever been so amazed in my life... Just the very feeling of knowing that there is just about everything around me, the fact that I can immerse myself in almost any culture just by walking down the street, literally blows my mind. To tell the truth, it made me realize a lot of things about myself, things I honestly couldn't see even just a couple of days ago. I'm grateful that I can now...

By walking in beat with this new song, this view I've experienced, I've felt the my past failings deeper than I have before. And miraculously, I started laughing instead of crying for the first time in my life. I saw visions of myself in school, with my friends, with romantic partners and with business and I couldn't help but laugh with glee, so amused at myself in so many different ways. In fact, I've seen so much, I feel like I've died and been reborn as somebody else to veiw these memories with a different mind. For this, I want to thank Vancouver, the move itself and the anime series 'Graviattion,' for which I am now a worshipper of.^^

But what of my past self? It was really something when I stood in the mirror and saw my future self for the first time, who I wanted to, dreamt to, honestly longed to be and realized that I was actually turning into him. I surely haven't reached that point yet, but I can feel it. Again, what of who I was? I see myself now: Bright, funny, artsy, a thinker to a fault and somewhat polite to strangers. Not to mention these qualities: Timid, stubborn in my ignorance, resentful to change and one of the biggest worry and cryers in the world. Who am I know? Heh, your guess is as good as mine, but I love him.

This section is something special to me... It came to me, the notion of honesty after a lot of self-reflection. And then the question, am I resentful for being who I was back in the states? Was I a jerk or a brat? Did I do things right? To tell the truth, all of the answers are yes and no. Then I thought, am I to be proud of who I was? This brat/not brat and jerk/not jerk... In honestly honour, I didn't care. I didn't think about it... It was inevitable that I was who I was, but the thing I have been thankful for are my friends and the experiences they've opened up to me, the moments we've shared... I've always had a lot of trouble saying the word "love" when it comes to anything I've ever had reason to question myself on, even the smallest thing. For that, I apologize that I never used it like it was meant to be used. That said, I want to say this...

ALL OF YOU BACK HOME, I LOVE YOU ALL!
That's right, you heard it from me. I really love all of you guys at home and there's never a day when you all aren't in my thoughts. Joel, you've been one of my most valued and greatest friends for over ten years. With all hope, I hope we will for many decades to come. Foxy, you're honestly one of the oddest people I've ever met, but also one of the most addictive people to be around, even when you're boring as hell. Rob, Reber, Nick, Tom, Lacey, Jenny, Jackie, Ben and all the others I've been around, I've enjoyed being around each and every one of you for the good times we've shared. My co-workers, my teachers and the wide circle of friends I hardly ever hung out with on leisure time, I miss you all too. Lastly, I want to extend this feeling toward all of my ex-lovers, especially my last one brought out the biggest and most honest life change in my life... Truthfully, I really couldn't be happier with who I am now and that's something that you've caused in one way or another, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Levity - An often inappropriate lack of seriousness.

As you've seen, my address is www.levityismyguide.blogspot.com. If you haven't, then just look up and you'll see it. -_-;; Anyway, I just wanted to define that if you really didn't know what that meant. Let levity guide you to places you never knew were, let it carry you to the unexplored regions of life if you live as I. But once you get there, grab onto the good things with both hands and never let go! Live life as you see fit and live for the sake of living! Be honest to yourself and others, and above all, enjoy life as much as you can. I know the last part sounded as if I was dying or getting shot to the moon, but read those words with everything I just said taken into account. What that said, I leave you now to whatever it is you're doing. Come and see me again sometime and I'll tell you of many things, both good and bad. Till then, live well.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A Brief Hop into Fantasy: The Calm Amidst the Storm


(This was one of my favorite postings from the days when I was an avid role-player on the internet. I know, it's kind of smug for a person of my slothly composure to boast of such past doings as if they outshine the greatest of the great, but rather I just want to post it on here so that I may read it latter with having to search for it again... And perhaps to share it with you. So without further delay..)
"The Calm Amidst the Storm" by Trux - Inspired by Flash Guardian
It had been a long time since Blue had walked from the mainland to the island, the long stretch between Redfang and the keep's land nothing but a ever-shifting plane of shimmering blue waters. The long journey had usually always been enough to deter a man such as himself from making the trip on his own without the aid of ship, flight, or steed to bring him there. But today, everything felt different and new, the extended path towards the crimson isle actually exciting him for a change.
The azure planescape slowed it rolling movement as it crackled and hardened beneath the soles of his silver buckled shoes, the very touch of the wandering aristocrat turning the waters into solid ice. No incantations, no mystic words accompanied this miracle, the essence of his winter magic simply flowing naturally from his being. His worried looks and concerned expression he usually carried with him had dropped to an infinitesimally small amount, a beaming smile appearing beneath his painstakingly well groomed moustache.
A certain vivacious hop pushed him into the air with every occasional step, leaving a small gap in the frozen walkway behind as he bounded along the seemingly endless expanse. The cause of the leap had been yet unknown to those who had happened to spy the foppish lord treading down along the icy path, that same wide smile still and always showing how satisfied and content he was with whatever good luck had come his way. But perhaps it wasn't luck that made him saunter the way he did, but rather a feeling as if things were meant to be this way. How wonderful it was to be alive for him! Even now, his mind had been clouded with the images of his most precious and cherished treasures, the things that brought him the most joy as a man and as a new husband. Already, a chill had gone down his spine as he pondered the possibilities, a crisp breeze picking up as the man shivered. Both hand flew into each other's deep silver-lined cuffs, the duke drawing his shoulder up high as he loosed a shaky breath.
It had not been the frost gust of wind that caused the musician to shiver as he did, but the visions of his beloved that shook his very being and weakened his knees so that he may bow before such a superior creature. Almost otherworldly to him she was, beyond the beauty and grace of any angel that could be sent down from Heaven above to walk with him upon this earth. Truly, the bard admired no other person more than his beloved Aislinn.
The reddish monument that arose from the depth of the ocean started to come into view, what the man considered as his second home and place of rest, Redfang Island. Although the place looked uninviting and seemingly bathed in a bloody red light, it had been the company he kept there that drew him back so many times again and again. The shores not far from him, his velveteen ebony hand flew to his waste and unsheathed the weapon he now kept by his side, a spiral hilted, bejewed rapier of liquid silver that could pierce through even the sun's shining light with its luminescence.
The crimson aura that surrounded the island caused the gentleman to look menacing and devilish as he withdrew his blade, the deep blues and shining silvers of his clothing taking on a deeper hued purple and crimson, the drips of water falling from the tip of his blade looking like the substance that pumed through each living person's body, blood. The waves beneath roared and lifted the man higher into the air, the glacial trail the swordsman left behind him shattering into thousands of shining crystals. Power surged through the dark figure upon his artic throne, the salty sea air of the ocean rapidly clouding into a thin white fog. It had been a while since the noble exercised this type of power, the ebon fingers of his left hand clenching around the elaborate handle of his rapier. With a sudden jolt of his arm, the swordsman thrust his sword before him with one large step, the shine of his weapon seeming to bathe the island with a series of pinks, greens, and blue, the hues of the artic lights which showered the north.
A mist had started to rise from the blade, the length of this dazzling piece of martial weaponry become coated in a sheen of frost. The peaceful silence of the island had been ripped asunder by the duke's violent storm, silver streaks of light racing across the sky before a loud booming roar would follows in its wake. The very sight of his raging torrent of the man's dark ambitions had almost seemed as if it were to bring an end to the lone dusty red isle, a gale force wind briefly caressing the island's ground to cause the trees to try and flee from him. Suddenly turning his wrist, the noble pointed his sword towards the heavens above. lightning cracking across the sky once more as the roaring wave the aristocrat stood on reached its zenith! Both eyes had been closed now, the clammer of chaos surrounding him being repelled by willpower and focus alone. The discipline and control he possessed was phenomenal, the whole ocean and sky at his command.
The man had seemed to become as a god, the very elements at his beck and call, everything within the tight, firm grasp of his ebon velvet glove. Both eyes had flashed open now, the gold and lapid jewel set within his sockets glowing with an unnatural and humbling sense of his incredible powers. The strength in this man was not in the use of brandishing a sword and shield. No, that was the part of his beloved Aislinn to play as his knight in shining armor. What he possessed complimented her gifts better than anybody could have every thought possible. Raising his arms up high with the tip of the blade pointed towards the crest of his frozen throm, the duke of the twilight kingdom clenched his teeth tight before thrusting the sword down into the frozen foam of the wave with a deafening yell, the violent gale suddenly starting to twist and turn around him in response to his scream. The rapier pierced straight through the ice and flew back towards the earth.
The magician carved his way through the glacial uprising with a series of furious slashes and jabs, his unholy voice carrying across the island as a distinct and eerie howl through the ferocity of his storm. The winds had swirled and turn into a full force hurricane, the frosty shaving from Blue's sword flying up and getting pulled higher and higher into through the chaos and into the clouds. His descent through the arctic pillar would have only seemed to have been a single second, the bard moving with such speed and certainty that what he performed clearly was an act which little a mortal or sane man could ever hope to accomplish. His feet landed with a loud bang against the earth, a sudden shockwave carrying across the entire island as his being touched the once soft soil beneath him, the ground now a layer of tundra. He stood hunched, lowered with his sword horizontal to his body, his arm held out with the weapon in hand, his face hidden among the vastness of his golden sunshine. Only now would he wait...
The once clear and wonderfully blue sky had become clouded and dreary, the grey that blanketed the island only carrying through the sky ever so slightly. Silence. Nothing could be heard, not a tree rustled, nor a breeze blow. Absolute peace and quiet. The lord allowed his head to tilt back, allowing himself the privilege to look towards the rest of the island from under the shadow of his wide-brimmed hat. The fierceness of his eyes gradually started to fade, his grip loosening, his breath becoming lighter and easier. It was over now, it was complete. The sound of metal sliding against metal could be heard as Blue slid his sword back to its respective place, the sheen of frost the sword had been coated with being stripped as the blade caressed the artistic sheathe around his belt. Then the man stood, his posture straightening with a slight popping of his joints as he rose, a small smile starting to creep up on his somber features.
"Perfect..." he said in but a whisper, turning his gaze skyward.
The lord scanned the cloudy blanket above, his mismatched pair looking far, far away into the distance, searching for something. Then, he saw the fruit of his labor start to appear, the smile on his facing growing ever wider as he watched. A single perfect ice crystal with is own artfully crafted crystalline frame wafted gently in the breeze, one of the snowflakes crafted the by tip of Blue's sword. Then another fell too. Then another and another until it grew into a small flurry, the landscape of the island becoming dusted with a pure and silent white.
"How wonderful this is," said the arctic wizard with a smug grin on his face.
His feet crunched through the light layer of snow, the entire island feeling the extent of his rule over the elements. "A storm for seven days and seven nights... My masterpiece."
The man followed the path into the wood of the isle, the forest filling him with quiet joy as the place turned into a winter wonderland.
"How I have missed this, my homeland. This is what should be mine..." he breathed as his silver talons carved their way into the bark of the trees that he would happen to pass, the beauty he had created and unleashed upon this place filling him with nostalgia. The vision of his own keep came into his mind, a castle set within the deep frozen north, the bustling village that hung beneath its shadow. How much he missed it, although he could never go back now. Too many things kept him here and he had come to accept that.
"The council, the people, my people... What is left of them now? What has become of my kingdom?" he asked turning around one tree, almost as if he expected to find somebody on the other side to answer his question. But as he had imagined, nobody was there to give him a reply or a solution, his slender frame falling against one of the proud trees that guarded the interior of the island. "Blast! How could it all have slipped away from me? How could I have been so blinded by avarice and pride that I could not see what I had been loosing?" cried the lord into the winter landscape.
The man's knees felt weak and weary now, both of them feeling as if they could no longer support his body any longer. Blue collapsed into the fresh powder, his arms falling lifeless along with the rest of his body. It was depression, the sorrow and the sadness he felt for what had occured in his far past. It pained him physically, mentally, and emotionally, the stinging numbness of this hard memory making him feel cold and insignificant. A single crystalline tear cascaded down his pale cheek as he gazed through the forest towards the dojo grounds, both of his hand cupping and curling into the pile of snow he had pushed up as he fell.
"That place..." he murmured quietly, the corners of his mouth contorted into a sharp frown. "How I wish it were mine..." spouted the once proud lord, crawling his way towards the monument within the island's center. It was not his keep, nor did it even resemble his castle in the slightest, but it was a place of authority and nobility, both of which he wanted more so than anything.
The most of his overcoat had been covered in the fresh dusting of pure white snow, the man still pulling himself through the wood with only the strength of his arms and desire. A gaze, an unblinking gaze, that one blue eye fixed towards the building so close and yet so far from him. The golden amber eye had refused to partake in the same vision, shutting itself closed as the nobleman trudged onward. Two forces clashed inside of him, an argument starting to rage between two familiar men. Both of them the voice of peace, but which one was right? The confusion, the chaos, the madness that brewed between the two... The bard's movement became slow and rigid, finding it harder to drag himself further and further. Something was stopping him from doing it... Not the cold nor the weather, but something else prevented him from pressing on. Now he didn't move, the man face down in the snow at the edge of the clearing, his features hidden beneath the brim of his lavishly tailored hat...
(Well, that's it... There's much more I could put on here, but all in due time. I thank all those wonderful people who helped me develope this story. Truly, it was a pleaure to have it all come to me. Anway, I hope you do continue to read on for furture postings. For know, the dreary moaning of reality demands that I partake of the mundane celebration and ritual of daily life... Exciting? Hardly. Cheerio, all.)

Verbal nicotine or just more garbage.


Oh, hello again. Well, as I was searching through the mazelike corridors of cyber-space, I eventually found myself at a chat centre through sheer boredom of it all. Likely and foolishly was it my belief that people actually spoke on a chat server, but as to my surprising dissapointment, all things revolved around a single topic which had unfortunately been so played out of context that I could hardly believe it to still be the main choice of interest. Sex, dear ones... In art, all that could be discussed was centred around being a nude model. In emotional support, faultering sexual interest in relationships was the key choice of conversation. And in communities? As you guessed, it was filled with all those souls who are wading waist high in their own hormones. Tell me, where are the traditions of romance these days? Are flowers not a symbol of virtuous love and devotion? Are they merely another tool to reach the rubbing of naughty bits together? Give me a good cup of tea and a nice conversation anyday, moving to more sensuous matters with the culmination of a good friendship. Crazy, you say? Well, that sort of crazy is what keeps ethics alive, friends. It is the flawed reasoning of us that keep the ideas of courtship and the gentleman's way in tact. Tact, dear visitors, is something I wish more people would use with honest intention and word. With a hearty dose of my benediction, I wish you all a pleasant *insert this time period later* until next time.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

So that's how this works...


The top and by the top I mean the very last cubic inch of the morning to you! Although, it may not be morning for you... Maybe you're draped in the pitch of night, perhaps? Drowning in the heat of a summer's day, I think? Me, you ask? Well, I've seated myself on something I could vaguely describe as a chair. It has a similar shape, texture, size and smell of aforesaid chair, but there is something about particle board that I find abberant to a chair's being... What? Oh, yes... That's right. This is my first blog upon this website, though I have at various moment of emotional distress or excitement tried to expose myself though the glory of written word to the public. Never the less and whether you be public or not, I found it most invigorating! Those little squiggly letters gave me the most difficult time... In fact, I had to go three bout with them before we finally struck an accord. I think they were conspiring against me, but that's silly. Right? Right?! Anyway, I bid thee a good *insert your personal day or season here*. I'm afraid I must go, for dreamland is a place of streoptical pleasures and of fantastic though faux real life experience. Tah!